Speaker 1 0:00
Hello in this week's episode of midlife as I talk to the wonderful Filipa bellette of Chris and filly functional medicine fit he has just written an amazing book about burnout body burnout as as they Chris and Filly have to have coined the or trademarked the particular description and in this episode we're talking about busyness, you know, this busyness, people pleasing, and alcohol and that relationship between those things and burnout and I think you will love this episode with Filly she's an absolute gem she knows so much. And we talk about the connection between you know, trauma and beliefs and and why we do the things we do so I highly encourage you to have a listen. I really really enjoyed being in her company. So over to myself, and Filly. If you're a woman in midlife, his intuition is telling you that giving booze the elbow might be the next right move. Their midlife AF is the podcast for you. Join counselor psychotherapist this naked mind and gray area drinking alcohol coach Eamon Gilmore for a weekly natter about parenting quirky teens, menopause relationships and navigating this thing called midlife alcohol free. If you're feeling that life could be so much more that you're sick and tired of doing all the things for everyone else. If your intuition is waving her arms manically at you saying it could all be so much easier. We didn't have to keep drinking, come with me. Together we'll find our groove without booze.
Speaker 1 1:54
I lovingly acknowledged the boomerang people of the Kulin nation as the custodians of current Baroque. I share my admiration for the Aboriginal culture, I witnessed the connection that they have for each other and the land and their community. As I swim in the waters and walk on the land, I feel the power of this place. I'm grateful for the Aboriginal peoples amazing custodianship, the power, beauty and the healing potential of this place. I wish to pay special respects to the elders of the Buena, wrong people. Their wisdom, guidance and support are exceptional, and felt well beyond the Aboriginal community. I honor that this is Aboriginal land, and that it has never been ceded. I am committed to listening to the Aboriginal community, and learning how I can be an active ally in their journey to justice. It's so lovely, lovely, lovely to have you here. Really, I just introduced your book. And I was just like, so but his book is called ending body burn out find your spark. And it is a functional medicine guide for Busy Women with energy, mood and gut issues. And I was just like
Unknown Speaker 3:12
that's, that's, that's all my people and you
Speaker 2 3:18
think it's the majority of the people on in the western culture? Yes.
Speaker 1 3:23
So I'm so delighted to have you on you know, my story, my audience knows my story that we are a family of neurodivergent. And we have been struggling with things like burnout, chronic fatigue parts, there's all this stuff going on in my family. And so and I'm very much in the process of kind of getting back to basics with my health after a bit of a burnout flare up before and during the sort of Christmas period. So this is a subject so dear to my heart. So I'm gonna hand over to the beautiful Billy to tell us about herself and her book. And the connection between busyness people pleasing, and alcohol and burnout. And we'll sort of you know, go from there. And we might cover some other bits and pieces as we go through our podcast which recording metaphysical a over typically. Awesome,
Speaker 2 4:17
thank you so much for having me on. I'm so excited. So yeah, I'm Filipa bellette. My husband and I run a holistic health practice called Christian fully functional medicine and we're best known for ending body burnout and people who are busy running perfectionism people pleasing patterns and their body is telling them that generally it shows up as energy, mood, gut issues, other type of inflammatory issues, and I got into this line of work. After I had my first baby. My health really started breaking down and I developed like a whole heap of weird I call it weird health issues because I went to the GP or the Tesla look fine, fine. Remember the GPA just said it's just what it is to be a mom. I'm like, but I have other mom's friends that are like not stuck in bed for days because of chronic pain and fatigue and gut issues and chemical sensitivities, this isn't normal. And so that led me on a journey to really looking at the deeper root causes as to why my body had burned out. And it wasn't just to do with having a baby, that was a part of it. But even before kids if it can go to start talking about people pleasing, perfectionism, busyness, tight patterns, I started those patterns, even as a kid, and definitely in my high school years became that type a person that also wanted to get a pluses in everything. Got all the lovely external validation when you do a good job, and it just set up this pattern of overdoing high achieving but very fee based, it was very few based for me. Totally get that
Speaker 1 6:02
there's so much in the work this work, particularly around alcohol. That's about fear. Fear is the reason why we drink and then we think that the solution to drinking is also fear based programs and activities. But actually, the opposite is true. It's so interesting.
Speaker 2 6:23
Yeah. Yeah. So interesting. So it's interesting, too. Because you asked me before we jumped on, it's like, Would you be happy sharing your relationship with alcohol? And I said, it's kind of a boring one, because I actually didn't drink. I haven't actually drunk ever. But it all ties in with the reasons why people might start drinking. So for me, I grew up in a lovely, beautiful home. I had a very wonderful upbringing, but it was also I created meanings around my Christian upbringing. So but as a Christian, where alcohol was forbidden, it's like, Thou shalt not drink alcohol. And so anyway, this develops likes and people pleasing patterns. I wanted to play as my parents, I didn't want to get in trouble. But then also, there was a whole heap of pressure from friends as well that you're like, You're a weirdo. Why are you not drinking. And so my whole nervous system like as a young girl, and as a teenager was so wired, and fired, and stuck in a fight flight response, because I never felt like I could please, I never felt like I could fit in. Or I could play this or be myself or show up in any environment, which then for me, my alcoholism was busyness and like, getting good grades, and then later on, getting stuck in, like overdoing in business and work.
Speaker 1 7:57
And I hear you, it's like I was saying to Philly before we got on. Like, I don't, I didn't just have one coping mechanism.
Unknown Speaker 8:05
Yeah, overworking perfectionism.
Unknown Speaker 8:09
Binge eating, binge dieting. Not eating. Exercising to excess. Drinking.
Speaker 3 8:22
Tell me why. Yeah. Tell me what I didn't probably gambling. It's probably one that I've not I've never had any interest in but that's probably and porn. But that's probably the two that I haven't, you know, kind of dabbled in in order to regulate my nervous system.
Speaker 2 8:37
Yeah. Yeah. I was definitely like a sugar sugar addict for sure. Yeah. Netflix, you know, there's so many ways that we alcohol, but so many other ways. Right? Yes. Suppress the pain that's below the surface.
Speaker 1 8:55
That's exactly right. And so you're it sounds really interesting that whole because for a lot of my clients, we have a good girl profile. And it's, it's almost like as well. And so I can really recognize because I also know other humans who don't drink because either they have the guardrails of religion, or they have the guardrails of like having a parent who had had issues with alcohol previously, so that can often be a reason why people don't drink. And equally the good girl profile within my clients can often be that they're being so good that words come around quite often. It's interesting listening to the words that people use because there's often words like temptation, and like the devil on my shoulder and all those sort of like very sort of religious based kind of emotive words that come out and that's like, I needed some way to stop being perfect. I needed to be it was so much pressure. There was so much absent trying, I needed a place to I needed that like, both to not be being all the things to getting all the ticks on the scorecard every day.
Speaker 2 10:12
Yes, yes. Yeah, when I start with like for myself, and also like quite quickly with clients, and I'm sure you probably do something similar maybe in a different modality, but every every behavior has a belief underneath. So if there's dysfunctional behavior showing up, there must be a deeper unconscious core belief that is flaring that behavior. And so for me, there was a really deep belief. So yes, I had all this stuff that was happening around me, but a really big deep belief that I was weak and incapable, somehow, and so and so even, like with the busyness, perfectionism, or Yeah, if every cell in my body believed that I was incapable, then of course, I'm going to have to work really hard to try and prevent people from seeing my true identity. Because if they really saw how waken incapable I was, then I'm gonna get rejected. And it's kind of the same, I'm sure, with people using alcohol as well, that there's there would be some sort of deeper belief that the project was not lovable. Yeah. Yeah. And broken, somehow damaged?
Speaker 1 11:29
Absolutely, um, society endorses that, particularly with alcohol, because if we believe that we're to blame for our coping mechanism, that it's a fault in, you know, that we are not normal, we're a bad person, we're, you know, then, you know, that kind of plays into that underlying belief that were broken or faulty or unacceptable, or any of the other beliefs that people have about themselves? Very, very nicely for whoever needs it to, if that makes sense. Yes,
Unknown Speaker 12:04
yes. Yeah,
Speaker 1 12:09
it's that underlying belief pieces. It's funny enough, I was talking to my group last night about we were talking about feelings of resentment, man, we were going into individual situations and talking about the belief that sits underneath those individual situations. So the reaction the trigger, there's sort of the friction in the body, you know, Where's that coming from? And what is it the belief that we're making about ourselves that relates to what say, for example, a partner or a child is doing that's causing us to have this big reaction? It's always about?
Speaker 2 12:42
Yeah, yeah. And it's really good. Because when you can become aware of that, then then you can actually, it's almost like the scary monster under the bed. Is it actually real? Like, as a kid, we think that it's real, these beliefs, these stories that we've made off out about ourselves, which usually was created before the age of seven, is that monster really real? And then when you actually start doing this work, although I don't know if you found this with your clients, but I know a lot of ours are like, too scary. Let's not go there. But when you actually start, like just diving into it with courage and kindness, you realize that, oh, my gosh, everything that I thought about myself is just fiction, like, it's really just a story, is it going to be a helpful story? Or is it taking me away from what I want? And yeah, I can see the monster under the bed, but it's not real. And so then, for when, when you are starting to do the reprogramming work with the beliefs, it's really cool when you can start kind of zooming out. It's like, Why did I get triggered? It's not about them, but it's actually about me, what do I believe about myself in that situation? Ah, it's coming back to that flaming, dysfunctional belief again, but I'm not believing that anymore. And then it just like dissolves any kind of tension, guilt, shame, because, you see, it's just your unconscious state having a little bit of a fight flight response to a belief that's not real.
Speaker 4 14:17
It's so true, and so transformational and also scary for people because it's vulnerable, right? That's the thing we find so scary. Yeah. Is to be vulnerable with other people to show up, soft underbelly. I like to refer to it as scary to be in a world where we've been, most of us are caught in fight or flight. And we think, you know, at the end of the day, we were in defense the whole time.
Speaker 5 14:41
Yeah, yeah. So talk to me freely about knowing that we have so many humans experiencing burnout at the moment, and, you know,
Speaker 1 14:57
needing to use coping mechanisms to or feeling like for a long time, we've needed to use coping mechanisms to help us manage what's happening in our world what or experience of existing.
Unknown Speaker 15:11
Tell me, from your
Speaker 1 15:12
perspective, what is I know you have your own? Is it body burnout? That's the word expression that you and Chris have. Sort of, yeah. Would you be kind enough to explain what that is?
Speaker 2 15:25
Yeah, so we so yeah, we a lot of people use the term burn out. And we know that that's kind of like you've been going too hard for too long, Vandy, the candles at both ends. Now you kind of like done exhausted, brains a bit. Gone. Body burnout. So in our functional medicine practice, for those who haven't heard of functional medicine, it's it's natural therapies. But it's kind of going beyond just standard naturopathic nutritional type, healing the body. So in functional medicine, we use scientific lab testing that actually looks at different areas of our body that go beyond what GPS medical specialists test for. So we're looking at adrenals and your stress hormones, which is a real thing. It's crazy when, like, I've had a lot of clients are like, I asked my doctor to test my adrenals. And they're like, it's not a real. It's like it's an auger producing stress hormone. Yeah, you hear that? Yeah. Also looking at neurotransmitters, looking at gut health, detoxification, heavy metals stuck in the body. And so that's basically functional medicine is using lab testing to actually look what's happening inside the body that's affecting your symptoms, and also can affect the way that you're thinking and feeling. So that's how that's why we coined it body burnout, because we work with people where Yes, they've been burning the candle at both ends for too long. But they're not kind of just at the point where they just need a holiday. Some people have burnt out, they go on a holiday for two weeks a month, and they come back or like, whoa, I'm ready to get back into they usually the people that end up burning out in holiday and burning out. Yeah. But we, like a lot of clients that come to Haas at the point where their body systems are so burnt out that a holiday or a good night's sleep, doesn't cut it. Yeah, they're still struggling with chronic fatigue, they're anxious, depressed, or irritable. A lot of people are showing up with gut issues at this point too, because you can only be in a fight flight response for so long before your gut stops functioning properly. Who hormonal issues like Peri menopausal type stuff, menopausal symptoms don't have to happen, you can just stop bleeding, and not have a period. Breathing, you're in menopause. So a lot of people feel like you need hot, like it's just normal to have hot flashes, and mood imbalances, when you're going into menopause, that it's just a sign that the body systems are burnt out. So that's why we point at body burnout. So really looking at these people who are running these busy patterns, people pleasing perfectionism, and now their body systems have kind of carved it, which is actually a beautiful thing, because our unconscious state talks to us through pain. And the pain in the body is the best way to grab our attention to actually do something about the deeper root cause.
Speaker 1 18:36
And that feels so aligned to me, because when I talk when my clients put to me about cravings, is a similar thing. To me craving is just a body thing. I'm in discomfort. Yeah, I'm in discomfort now.
Unknown Speaker 18:50
It's so interesting, it's so
Speaker 2 18:51
interesting thing. And when you can start looking at that, so rather than hating on whether it's like a physical symptom or a craving or a thought pattern or a behavioral pattern, rather than hating on it or getting frustrated, confused by it, it's just like, it's just your unconscious trying to talk to you. And we have this amazing complex self, which also includes the physical body as a way to, to help us return back to who we actually are. And we're all perfect. Like we're all perfect and pure potential. There's nothing wrong with us.
Speaker 1 19:28
That's the beginning of all my is like at our essence, we are just these amazing human beings. We were put on the earth and then all of this stuff came in and told us we were bad or we were wrong or we made these interpretations of it. And that kind of creates the situation that we find ourselves in. But at our core we are
Speaker 5 19:47
every magnificent, extraordinary.
Speaker 2 19:52
The fact that we breathe the fact that there was there's a I'm totally going to fudge this, but it's like a one inch that trillion billion chance that you are, you are who you are on this planet right now, which in a way, we're all miracles. And so therefore, like, when we can when we can clear all the baggage from the past and these beliefs and you know, reset our body systems, it's it's kind of like, which is with pure potential.
Speaker 3 20:22
Exactly right. And it's like, wow, you know, there's
Speaker 1 20:28
the sad thing is we spend most of our lives trying to be like everybody else. Yes.
Speaker 3 20:34
Yeah. And that's the whole like, oh, I want to drink like normal people. It's like, well, who just decided that was normal? And why do we want to do that anyway? Yes,
Speaker 2 20:44
I see. That's really interesting. Because like, my story around drinking was I'm sorry, abnormal, because I don't drink. So we no one's gonna like me. They Oh, my gosh, I kind of like have to pretend that I'm, I don't know, not who I am. I don't even know who I am. And so, yeah, it's interesting, because I feel like the alcohol drinking culture is actually kind of turning around that I said, it's kind of normal not to drink, it's
Speaker 1 21:14
turning around. But there's, it's being held on to, you know, people are holding on to it very tightly. And I still even find it when I'm in I find it even in, you know, groups of entrepreneurs. There's, there's a fear of turning off your audience by talking about alcohol. Because there's this patch, we all would nobody wants to question their drink. Yeah. Because there's this belief that it's an innocuous substance, and it's just really not. But that's the, you know, the powers that be needed to be seen as an innocuous substance. Because that keeps everybody thinking that it's just those weird people over there have a problem with it, rather than
Speaker 5 22:06
every human? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. So interesting.
Speaker 1 22:14
So tell us really about, we were talking earlier about, you know, things that you can do, as a person who might be deciding to stop drinking from a, you know, and we we, often I find, people stopped drinking, and they become very, very tired. And they're very surprised that they're very, very tired. But generally, because a lot of my clients use alcohol to push through, you come home, at the end of the day, you're absolutely freaking exhausted, you should be having a sit down, and a bit of a rest. But you don't feel like you can. And so you keep pushing on through, you get the school things done, school, kids are annoying you, nobody's doing what they're supposed to be doing. And your nervous system is going to mean something to the parents, and I've not had a break. And so I'm completely overwhelmed. And like then, and I'm talking about this as myself as well. And so you drink, because that enables you to kind of distance yourself a little bit from what's happening. And kind of like, suppress your experience of what's actually happening so you can keep going. And of course, when you then stop, you've been pushing our nervous system, we've been ignoring on the nervous system you've been ignoring and pushing down with actually your experience of life for a significant amount of time. For me, it was over 20 years. What would you do in your wisdom and your huge amount of training and expertise in this area? What would you recommend? What would you advise? Where would be the areas that you would advise people to look at rather than just going straight back to drinking because you were expecting to feel like a vibrant Gizelle coming out of the
Unknown Speaker 23:58
the deep dark forest into the life and you find that?
Speaker 2 24:01
Yeah, yeah, I so I always think about like in our practice, metaphysical and the physical are very closely not mean they are connected. And so from a physical point of view it's because it can be really hard. So I mean, we work with people who have all sorts of addictions, whether it's alcohol, a lot of the times it's food, sometimes it might be even like recreational drugs or over exercising. And, and so if there's any physical imbalances in the body. Now, I don't believe that the physical imbalances are the direct or the root cause, but it can make it really hard to get out of this stuck cycle. If, for example, you have really low dopamine levels that have depleted and stress is the number one reason why those dopamine levels to play. So it might not be been where it started. But over time, it can get lower and lower and lower. Same with the vitamin B's are really important for having like control and having like that, that calm in your nervous system. So if those have really depleted, then it can be quite hard to crawl out of the hole. So. So it's almost like I think, think about the physical imbalances as a bit of a life raft, if, if, for example, you do a retest, and it's like you don't mean levels are really low, there's some really beautiful nutrients and supplements that you can use to help support that physical part of yourself so that any deeper root causes that you need to change as well as behavioral changes to get healthy and happy. It becomes easier. Yeah. If only you did a supplement and a test, but not worked on deeper metaphysical root causes, then it's ends up being a bandaid, and at some point, it unravels, because you can't outsmart the root cause. But it's a really beautiful way that if you're feeling really stuck and overwhelmed, it's just it's almost like it takes the it helps you to have more control, more calm, so that you can actually rather than like going for the alcohol or whether it's sugar, or whatever that addictive substance is that you're actually able to kind of zoom out and say, Do I really need this? Do I really want this? Is there something else I can do. And so the reason why someone gets regulated or dysregulated, throughout the day, becomes kind of less as well. So from a physical point of view, I'd be thinking about physical imbalances. Sometimes people can have a really mad Candida or fungal overgrowth in their gut as well. And it loves it thrives on alcohol, sugar, and like processed carbohydrates. And the thing about the gut brain connection is that the bugs in the gut are constantly sending messages up to our brain. And Candida is really interesting, because I liken it to there's these ants in the Amazon forest. And these fungi, they probably live in other areas of the world. But anyway, there's these special mushrooms that grow and then they burst at some point and all the mycotoxins from the mushrooms burst when there's a colony of ants around them. And the mushroom mycotoxins actually get inside the brain of the air, so it actually seeps into the ants body. And it controls the ant to go back to the nest, where the mother Auntie's the Queen app, and then the mushroom grows out of the ant. And then it kills, kills all these, like infects all these ants, they're called Zombie. And so zombies are kind of, I guess, not as extreme but Candida right out, like if it's overgrown in our system, it's kind of like that. Yeah. Because just the way that those mushrooms were controlling the brain of the apps that can, Candida can have an effect like that. And I've seen people where they have got really stuck in in addiction, thinking about one lady who has was more sugar food, but when we start clearing that it's like, all of a sudden, this, this cloud starts lifting from the brain. It's like I have more control now. Okay. All right. I have more control at that. So I'm getting out of this stuckness. Now, what do I need to do to actually address the deeper reasons as to why need sugar or alcohol or whatever it is in the first place. So that's kind of like from the physical side, and there are things that that you can start doing as well, that you don't need, say a practitioner or lab testing or supplements. Just buy it. So someone has, say it's alcohol, that is the thing that they're going to, and there's a candidate data infection, then what are some things that might be easier, easier, quick changes, like maybe, maybe you're not ripping out the wine at night yet, but maybe you can change your cookies and cakes to like a really nice dark 90% Link chocolate, that when you start producing that sugar, carbohydrate load, then that can work, the Candida levels can actually start coming back down. And then on the metaphysical side of things, I would always dive into beliefs first, first and foremost, because they're the machine that drives everything.
Speaker 1 29:46
So helpful, so interesting, as well, especially talking about dopamine. I'm obsessed with dopamine at the moment. It's such an interesting neurotransmitter and hormone and like, this is just for me as a ADHD Human with two ADHD autistic children. It's a it's a very interesting one. And yeah, yeah.
Unknown Speaker 30:08
How can you get your dopamine hits in it and like healthy?
Unknown Speaker 30:13
Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 1 30:19
Is there anything else theory that you would like to cover or talk about that you think might be really useful for my audience? You know, I've kind of talked to you about who the people that follow me and listen to my podcast. But
Speaker 5 30:35
yeah, there anything that you'd like to think would be?
Speaker 2 30:41
Well, I think I think trauma is a big one, which is often really closely connected to these dysfunctional unconscious core beliefs. So we create unkind beliefs about ourselves in experiences that were distressing. So a little child will, you know, something distressing happens to a child, they're always asking what just happened? And what does it mean about me? And generally, what does it mean about me, they'll personalize it as something not nice. It's like there's something wrong with me. Because kids are egocentric. And that's just how they're developing. And so trauma is really interesting, because a lot of people that I'm pretty sure your audience, because I'm sure you talk about this a lot now. Or over the past, a lot of people think that trauma, kind of like the big events, it's the was domestic violence, rape, which definitely can dis regulate the nervous system and keep someone stuck in the fight flight response. But it's the small things as well. And I think that that was a missing piece in my own health journey. Because I'm like, I've had no trauma. I had a lovely upbringing, I was very loved and cared for. And Laurie that he died when I actually started learning about beliefs first, and then oh, my gosh, yeah, I did experience trauma, like my body is still holding on to traumatic events. And it was like, there were simple things that I will you know, for example, a, was standing on a stage, I think it was seven or eight, memorize a little talk, I was so proud of myself, I'm like, Yes, I'm going to be able to stand up on this stage and memorize it. And my parents are going to be so proud of me, people pleasing. And then I got up on the microphone, and I couldn't remember anything at all. And I went bright red, burst out crying in front of 100 people and then had to stand on this stage where every other little child got up and perfect talks. You know, like, we don't think about that as trauma, but it was because my body was wasn't able to process it back then. And no one really talked to me about it. Besides, it's okay. Don't cry, don't cry as a big one. I cry, you're fine. It's okay. It doesn't matter that you. It's like variance, right. Yeah, yeah. And so as a little girl, you know, and I'm sure we've all had humiliation is like the lowest energetic emotion we can ever experience. It's lower than guilt, shame, and anger. So I'm pretty sure that that every person on this planet at some point as a little kid who has felt deeply humiliated that may still be stuck in your system.
Speaker 1 33:44
It's really interesting that you say that because I was talking about exactly that experience of standing up and wanting to be able to share my magic with the world, and not being able to just my nervous system went into, I want this too much. For this too much. And I've got into complete dysregulation I can't get my words out. I can't breathe. I can't. And I was stunned that for 20 years, it was only once I started doing the work on my nerves. And I was writing about this this morning. So it's so interesting. It was I was actually an adult when it happened. Yeah, but it was it. You talking about it today? It's like feels like synchronicity that I was writing about it this morning. And just like, wow, that was too big. I didn't realize at the time was because my nervous system was dysregulated because of my belief that I have to do. I needed to share this information with the world because that would mean that people would believe me and see my amazing, you know, because I came from that core belief that I wasn't good enough, but I was yes
Speaker 2 35:00
It's so interesting. And it's so interesting how it can continue to show off until you actually start doing work on it. So that was my experience was seven years old. There were countless times after that were talking out loud, even in like social groups, definitely public speaking. Even as a fourth year university student, I was put on the spot once in a tutorial, my poem. So I'd written this beautiful poet poem, which was, I would say, remarkable, but it was very, I appropriated the Aboriginal community. And I didn't know, I had no idea. I thought I was actually doing something that was helpful. Yeah. And so all of a sudden, I was kind of getting blasted by students, like you can't write about that you can't write from an Aboriginal view. And I'm like, and I just went into this complete freeze mode. And my tutor, who was lovely that she asked a question about it. I don't know, I felt like it was five minutes of silence, but I literally could not open up now to talk. And that's kind of how like, trauma patterns from the past can continue showing up. As opposed to if I hadn't had that experience back in the past, probably wouldn't have been a nice experience in a group of people. But just from an overview, like far out, I had no idea now I do. Thanks, guys. I'm going to revert this problem right now. And I'm gonna do something different. That my system was just
Speaker 4 36:40
such a good example. I love that because it isn't. It's not. It's not Well, yes, as you say, it can be Bitcoin, but it's also not. It's also just, you know, not being picked up when you need it to be. Yeah, it can be anything. Yeah.
Speaker 1 36:56
Beautiful. And I know you've just launched your program, haven't you? Well, yeah.
Speaker 2 37:01
So Well, when I was there ending body burnout Method program. We have been running that for about 18 months, but our doors just closed last night. But I do have my book, we mentioned it earlier, if anyone were to read a little bit more about what we have been talking about, you can grab my book off my website, or Amazon or there's bookstores that stock it? Yes.
Speaker 1 37:27
And would you repeat the name of it again, because I will not be able to do it.
Speaker 2 37:32
Ending body burnout. Find your spot back. And then it's about a functional medicine guide for Busy Women with energy, mood and gut issues.
Speaker 3 37:43
Sounds so perfect. I would like Oh, my God. And interestingly, is it useful for children as well?
Speaker 2 37:54
For children to read it, and offer it. Read it. Yeah, children,
Speaker 3 37:59
things that you apply, would you take with similar or not? Yeah,
Speaker 2 38:03
yes, yes. So I wrote the book, we work with men and women, I wrote the book specifically for women, because there's a lot of my story on it. But men can definitely read it, they might just want to skip the parts about Yanis. A vaginal health, which is only a very small part of the book. But I think from a parent's point of view, in terms of kids, yeah, absolutely. Definitely. So it's broken up into four parts. So the first part is all about the body systems, which, which applies to everybody. Because there's only so many ways the body waste the body systems can burn out. The second part is the mind, which is phenomenal for parents to be able to do the work for themselves, because then you become your own. You become your coach and healer for your child so that you can unravel any programming that they've created already. While they're still young, and still a sponge that was set them up for like amazing upbringing. This third section is about the body. So how can we sleep move and eat in a way that supports the healing of our body? So again, totally applicable to the whole fam. And the last one is the environment. So how can we set up our environment for healing and that's looking at both like, kind of chemicals, toxins in the environment, but also having a happy, thriving home where you're putting your own oxygen mask on first. So you become the leader for your kids. Yeah,
Speaker 1 39:38
I love that so much. It's such an important thing, isn't it? And I think I was talking earlier with Billy and just saying, you know, with alcohol and I hear most of the coaches that I respect and trained, you know, it really is very, very difficult for us to remove that as a coping mechanism.
Speaker 4 39:55
If we're unable to, if we can't yet be ready to match Uh, you know, we have to match up. And we have to matter not as much, not alongside everybody else we actually have to matter more. Yeah, absolutely.
Speaker 2 40:11
Absolutely. You kind of need to be number one, because you cannot do that anymore. It's really hard to the others. Yeah.
Speaker 5 40:21
And that's and it's almost like a pet board thing, isn't it? You, you show your kids how they get to treat themselves? Yeah. It's such an important lesson. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 1 40:37
Well, I am so grateful. You came on and spoke to me. And I know that you and I will be speaking later on today. I cannot wait to read your book, it is going to be a manual on the coffee table in our house as a bunch of humans who struggle with everything that you've spoken about. I can't wait. And I thank you so much for bringing your genius to the world and for doing the work on yourself that you've done to enable us all to
Unknown Speaker 41:09
take part to learn
Speaker 1 41:10
from your wonderful magic. So thank you so much for the thank you for coming on. And thank you for this. Thank you. I
Speaker 2 41:20
feel like we're kindred spirits and I'm excited to have you on our podcast later today.
Speaker 3 41:26
Oh, it's like ever in Philly. Thank you.
Speaker 1 41:36
Oh, my goodness, guys, I wanted to just quickly interrupt and just let you guys know that I've got my five day virtual retreat running this February the 19th. The February to the 23rd I think it's 23rd. Yeah, 7pm every evening Melbourne Sydney time on Zoom. It is going to be phenomenal. I ran it for the first time as a five day program before Christmas in the lead up to my great Ozzy alcohol experiment in it was in September. And it was an absolute Corker. Everyone loved it. Totally new material really, really focused on my particular way of coaching which is sort of a mixture of all the different things I've learned from being a counselor psychotherapist, who working with Gabor Ma Tei, to working with Annie grace to working with Julian Park on gray area drinking so this naked mind as well. And you know, all the other different teachers that I've had, over the years, I've amalgamated to come up with what I believe the absolute essential to changing your relationship with alcohol is, is quite different from what a lot of people talk about. It's not about pushing. It's not about restricting, it's not about working really hard. It's about loving, it's about leaning in, it's about challenging. Everything that you learned to believe is what changing relationship with alcohol is about. It's about changing all of your beliefs around alcohol so that you no longer feel that alcohol is something you need in order to celebrate, to commiserate to relax. It's real. So it's changing a liminal thinking it's learning how to be with ourselves and our bodies in our distress. And there's really practical examples of that I'll have workbooks that you can download, and have audio files that you can listen to in your own time. So we'll go through we'll do some inner child where it's going to be really interactive, it's going to basically teach you all of the different things that I use to stop drinking, and I work with, with my clients on a daily basis. So really intense, great five days, it will be an hour session each time. And there will be like I said, there'll be workbooks and there'll be chosen things that you can use for setting yourself up for success with wherever you want to be with your relationship with alcohol is really, really different what I teach, I have developed my own method from all of the different teachers that I've had. And it's very, very successful. And it's also really, really good fun, too. And I was talking recently to some of my clients and we were talking about what are the amazing things about living your life that you're not controlled by alcohol, where you can just take or leave alcohol and that's exactly what I'm gonna be teaching over this five days and and the things that we talked about with silly little things. It's things like you know, being able to go and pick up your kids from them shift at 10 o'clock on a Saturday night. Waking up in the morning and being an asshole to yourself. It's like, Why do I pledge that this evening? Oh, getting up in the morning on Saturday morning and driving to park from and not having to worry if you were over the limit And then one another one that was coming off us was things like going to the cinema and just the amount of bandwidth that gets taken up by drinking. And it was a we're talking in our group about drinking and how you know, if you drink cinema which used to, I used to really enjoy, and I even drink it things like I'd have a nice bottle of fizzy wine, who when when the kids would see the greatest showmen. And I remember one time being mortified because I was watching something quite serious with my mom. And I'd had on this little piccolos of champagne, it wasn't enough to get recently movie to get off and get another one. And we were talking about how, you know, once then when you're drinking, and you're out, you've got some plan, you're sort of how do I get there and get home without driving because you're having to get Ubers and then just increase the amount of brain space that is taken up by alcohol. And just talking about how, you know, this isn't what we were put on the slide in this earth to be about, we weren't put on this earth, to have been mean to ourselves every day to not be able to be proud of ourselves and cave. But I'm not to pick our children up and they need picking up. We weren't put on this earth to regret our behavior. We weren't put on this earth to have our brains filled with different ways that we can get to do things that involve our con as opposed to just like living our lives. So if any of you if that resonates with any of you, if that's something you would like I highly recommend it's 50 bucks or 47 bucks. And it's a really, really great program. And I think if you are going to change your relationship without Oh, you have to start by investing in something to help you so community to program and then you also have to invest in yourself, you have to invest some time and like I want to change this it's causing me problems, I'm not enjoying it, it's not making me happy, it's making me sad, I'm going to do something about it and you got to put in, you know, an hour a day for five days. And you know, that you show up and do the work and and you will be a mazed at the transformation. And you'll be there soon. You know picking the kids up from the gym at nine o'clock on Saturday night like my clients going to the cinema and rejoicing in the fact that you don't have to drink and realizing that you don't need alcohol to enjoy yourself and you know that you can actually literally just take it or leave out but most of the time you will choose to leave it because it's absolutely nothing to offer you. So if you want to live that kind of free life, I encourage you Wiley to join my five taste of freedom virtual retreat. I'll see you there 19th of Feb. 7pm and the link to join which I highly advise you to do is in the show notes. Alright my darlings, take care see you soon.
Speaker 1 47:59
Thanks for tuning in to this week's episode of midlife AF with Emma Gilmore. If you enjoyed it, please share on Instagram for your friends and tag me at hote rising coaching. If you want to help me grow the podcast please review the episodes for me on Apple podcast that really helps. If you would like to work further with me please go to my website www Haute rising coaching.com for my free and paid programs or email me at Emma at Hope rising coaching.com sending a massive cuddle to you and yours for me and mine and remember to keep choosing you
Transcribed by https://otter.ai
